List of American figures of speech

English is a strange language using many exaggerations and metaphors, especially in some particular dialects.Here is a list of some of the foremost figures of speech used in America:

General American figures of speech:

“falling in love,”  “racking our brains,”  “hitting a sales target,”   “climbing the ladder of success”  “hotter than Hell”  “A bull in a china shop”  “We have to let you go.” Read: You’re fired.  “You’re well fed.” Read: You’re fat.   “To a T”, exactly

Southeastern Figures of Speech:

If you don’t stop that crying, I’ll give you something to cry about! (Usually resulted in a spanking, making us cry more)
If a bullfrog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass when he jumped. (resulted from our saying IF too much)
Close that NEWmonia hole. (close the window)
Your ass is grass and I’m the lawnmower! (usually followed by: “Go get me a switch.”)
Don’t you make eyes at me, boy! (if we rolled our eyes)
On opinions: “Opinions are like assholes, some are just louder and smellier than others.”

He’s so clumsy he’d trip over a cordless phone.
He’s about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt.
That’s about as useful as a trap door on a canoe.
He couldn’t carry a tune if he had a bucket with a lid on it.
She was so tall she could hunt geese with a rake.
She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.
He was so fat it was easier to go over top of him than around him.
It happened faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.
NO!! I AM NOT FALLING ASLEEP!! I was just checking for holes in my eyelids.

‘Bill’s busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin contest!

They don’t have a pot to piss in. “Piss Poor”

 higher than a Georgia pine (drunk)
I’m fixin’ to go down the road a piece (I’m going down the road for a short distance.)
Well, I’ll just swaney! (Well, I’ll be darned.)
Don’t go off with your pistol half cocked. (Don’t get mad unless you have all the facts.)
We better git on the stick! (We better get started.)
Somebody beat him with the ugly stick. (He’s not very good looking.)
I’ll knock you so hard you’ll see tomorrow today. (You’re gonna get it!)

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Cowboy Figures of Speech:

1. AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A LAWN PARTY.
   Self-explanatory.

2. TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.
   Not very generous.

3. BIG HAT, NO CATTLE.
   All talk and no action.

4. WE’VE HOWDIED BUT WE AIN’T SHOOK YET.
   We’ve made a brief acquaintance but have not been formally introduced.

5. HE THINKS THE SUN CAME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.
   He has a pretty high opinion of himself.

6. IT’S SO DRY THE TREES ARE BRIBIN’ THE DOGS.
   We really could use a little rain around here.

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