A compilation of dreams

A Compilation of Dreams. Prepare for some unusual dreams, unless every dream is unusual, in which case prepare for normal dreams. 

1. COMMUNISM IN AMERICA

You are minding your own business in the house. The mailman comes to the door, and you hear a metallic bang. After getting the mail, you realize one of the pamphlets is very official-looking, definitely from the government.

DEAR CITIZEN:

THE DEADLINE FOR CIVIL DISCOUNT ENROLLMENT IS MARCH 3rd. FOR ONLY $10 YOU CAN RECEIVE A DISCOUNT OF 50% ON SEVERAL ITEMS OF DIETARY AND PERSONAL VALUE, CHANGING EVERY MONTH. IF YOU DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS LETTER, AND ARE A FATHER, CONSIDER BECOMING FATHERLESS, FOR YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD YOUR FOOD.

REGARDS, THE GOVERNMENT

The veiled threat at the end of the correspondence feels fake in some way, but it still carries some weight. You know the real point of this is so the government can keep a registry of all their people and send them to the gulag if necessary. Communism in America has arrived.

2. SIMPLE WOODWORKING PROJECTS

You are inside a machinery room, a homemade piece of wooden furniture in front of you. On the floor, a gigantic book from the 1970’s with a gaudy yellow cover, on it an old-fashioned face in obvious crude printing dots, black hair slicked back, smiling at you. This is it. “11 Easy Woodworking Projects”, subtitled in a heavy, all-capitals font,

-Simple woodworking projects with no metal or other materials

-No wood pulp finishes, only quality finishes

-Only pure cotton accessories 

The author is Kyle, written in lime green, but then you look and see that his first name is Drescott, it was just impossible to see at first since it was almost the lemon-juice-color of the rest of the cover. It was published in Arizona, where the author was born. Why, you wonder, does everything from Arizona seem so much tougher and more unshamed than anything from the rest of the country? Who else would publish such a book?

3. The past in your hand

At a Slavic market, you suddenly discover a shelf full of old Soviet peanut butter jars. They are complete with red labeling and a propaganda photo of Lenin wearing an ushanka. Written in pencil on the bottom are dates from 1996-98. But the facts are- the Soviet union did not exist in 1996, and they did not have peanut butter in the first place. What a mystery.

russian peanut butter

…………..Professional Artist’s Rendering……………….

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