Mistranslation Adventures: Russian Author

[These book interviews were compiled just as my valentine was received in 2011.
This is a most fascinating interview, but it avoids the most interesting topics.
Expect that the reprinting and the controller will not be changed this time.
Some names will be changed because of Soviet Union censorship. Russian Federation critics fixed a number of substantial errors also. Not included in this collection is the interview with Volkov, because it is a separate unit.
Most people do not know that he was a member of the Old Order and managed to
steal an entire highway back in the 70’s. Thieves had high standards back then!]
START:
A: Good day.
B: Hello. I cannot imagine anyone other than oneself.
A: Interesting. When did you start writing poetry?
B: When I was 18. My first poem was about pancakes sealed inside a literary
cafe. I always thought it would get published.
A: How does the poem go?
B:

Deep in the abyss
of an unknown seclusion in
St. Petersburg Literary Cafe
lay a stack of eight pancakes.
they are sealed inside
a safe
for all eternity,
Only the owner knows the password.

A: Wow, that was exceptional. Mouthwatering. How did you find trying to publish
these poems?
B: It is very hard. Trying to publish in the Soviet Union is difficult because
of the censorship. For example they wished to censor the word ‘pancake’ because pancakes were a brief fad among the bourgeois in the late 1880’s.
A: What other words are often censored?
B: Miami has become a taboo subject in every sense of the word. Among others.
A: Why have the Soviets condemned you?
B: I do not know. Every phenomenon should be explained. I have always agreed
with Bertrand Russell in that regard.
A: I don’t follow.
B: Probably my own understanding doesn’t satisfy your mom. It’s quite simple.
A: Rude! So what do you think of your rival Abisky?
B: Abisky was a seperate, private person. And I have my audience.
A: What happens when you read Abisky’s poems?
B: Immediately there is an awful feeling and it becomes so boring! He is
disgusting.
A: What did you do earlier in life?
B: I grew up in a small town and got a job when I was twelve. Those two years
were the best years of my life. I did a lot of mining and I worked harder than ever in the village. We translated for leisure in the old days.A heck of a way to pass the time. Now I am a professional translator with exceptional skills in language and syntax.
A: How did your poems become so popular?
B: One must say my poems were spread wide and famous before they even appeared.
A: That is attractively exciting… When did you meet your wife?
B: When I was twenty. The deeper she sinks the more he reaches a point.
A: What?
B: Yes, We were forced to take a more extreme position. Because of the Soviets, you know.
A: Interesting. Thank you for your time.

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