Observations on Beverages for sale in the USA

Here is a typical selection of beverages at a corner store:

First Cooler       Second Cooler     Third Cooler      Fourth Cooler     5th-7th Coolers

Coke, Pepsi            Arizona Iced Tea   Energy drinks       Milk, chocolate             BEER

7up, mtn dew      Gatorade              ….with coffee too     milk, orange juice

root beer, etc         plain ice tea           bizarre drinks            mint milk

I could go on complaining about every single one of these beverages. They are good sometimes, but not healthy, and all have one problem or another, or perhaps five. (in the case of mtn dew) Milk and orange juice are the safest bets of the bunch.

The bottom line is although healthy, high quality food and drinks are becoming slightly more common in this “post-blindconsumerism” country, they still have not infiltrated our corner stores and half of the grocery stores. They still rely mostly on pop, which is pretty much only good as a cleaner and can actually be more expensive when you buy less of it. (I’ve seen 2 litres for $1 and 16 ounces for $1.59 before.)

If I ran one of these stores, I would do things differently. It would not appeal to as many people at this point, but there would be a larger, more interesting selection. More types of drinks exist in the world than we would think, and they don’t need to be filled with HFCS, caffeine, brominated vegetable oil, or artificial colors.

My version:

First Cooler                    Second    Cooler                Third  Cooler

Seltzer Water                    Fentimans’ soda                    Karoun Yogurt Drink

Flavored Water                   aloe drink                             Local 4% milk

tea                                     Bragg apple-                            craft beer

protein drinks                      cider vinegar drink

Rice punch                               Kvass

orangina, izze

Canada vs. America: Round 1 Fight!


Canada is known for a number of signature foods. Most of them appear to be on the lower-class side, like salt meat, donairs (sort of like wraps), those Winnipeg crazy burgers, vienna sausages, and (arguably) poutine. Some places, especially in Quebec, make amazing gourmet poutine, so that depends. Mcdonald’s poutine is much better than expected, though!

I’ve noticed brambleberry pie and Saskatoon berries to be pretty popular in the West, and good as well. Butter tarts and pecan tarts are  popular and extremely good, although you have to be in the right type of bakery to find them. Macaroni and Cheese is called “Kraft Dinner” and is a staple for kids and Baptist church meals. Tourtière is a meat pie made out of venison or pork. Bannock is an old-fashioned pioneer bread roasted over a fire, although it has modern incarnations as well. There are more signature Canadian foods but these are an introduction, at least.

America has invented dozens and dozens of different homegrown dishes. Often a small geographical change will change the food culture significantly. For example, Ohio and Kentucky, though right next to each other, have Midwestern and Southern tastes. In the Northeast, Weber’s mustard, maple syrup, fish fries, Ted’s hot dogs, barbeque to some extent, and delicious New York pizza are popular. In the Southeast, apple pie, fried green tomatoes, fried chicken, collard greens, cornbread and sweet potato casserole. And BBQ, especially in South Carolina and Texas. Southern food is somewhat popular in the North as well. Waffle House, Huddle House, Bojangle’s Biscuits, KFC, and many other chains had their start in the South. 

The Midwestern staples are Blue Moon ice cream, Chicago Deep Dish Pizza, Coney Island Hot Dogs, various meat sandwiches, and BBQ (again).  White Castle and Wendy’s started in Ohio.

In the Southwest, there is a lot of good Mexican food, and Texas has its own style and a lot of variety. Don’t be surprised if you can’t eat it all, cause Everything’s Bigger in Texas. California similarly has amazing Mexican food and is known for good healthy food such as sushi and salad as well.


Canada started off well with a few well-aimed punches, some of which were blocked by America and others made it thorough his defences. Though battered somewhat, America was just getting started and gave Canada a large uppercut, appropiately in the jaw.  

America wins 3-2.

Round Two is coming up!

Do you agree with the results? Comment!

Grocery stores FEAR him!

how to save on groceries

“Grocery Stores FEAR Him” is a famous ad in a series of ads that are obviously scams. However, they’re so blatently fake that they have a humor to them. There are other variations on “Grocery Stores FEAR Him”, such as how to get rock hard abs, and “electric companies FEAR him!” with a strange-looking device that is supposed to generate free power.

Can you break an apple in half with your bare hands?

I never used to think it was possible easy to do. I don’t work out that much, but I do some farm work and lift some 20 lb weights. Either way, I tried breaking in apple in half with my bare hands today, expecting certain failure. For the first ten seconds, I heard some shifty sounds, like a glacier starting to melt. Suddenly a fissure appeared, spreading outwards from the middle of the apple. CRACK! 

I felt like Jean Valjean lifting the horse cart off someone at the beginning of Les Mis. You should try it sometime, it’s not that hard and it’s really impressive. All you have to do is stick your thumbs in the bottom of the apple and wedge it apart till it breaks, basically. 

Perks of Farming

John Deere    IH     Case    Allis-Chalmers   Ford     CAT   New Holland  White

1. It’s a way different feeling and way more variety than an office job. Also, probably better for you. Why. More. 

2. You are your own boss.

3. You get to drive huge machines with diesel engines.

4. You get to be outdoors all the time in the fresh air.

5. You can be proud knowing that even if people complain about you,

they’re doing so with their mouth full of YOUR food, odds are!

6. You can pee wherever you want.

7. You’re doing something which has sustained mankind for 7000+ years.

8. You get fresh, high-quality food cheap.

9. You get a lot more fit and usefully strong. 

10.    \—>   girls like that. (hmmm. Guys don’t mind farm girls, either)

11. You’ll have a lot of interesting conversations with non-agricultural friends and will teach them a lot. 

12. Overalls!

Cow/Horse Specific:

13. You get to be around animals all the time, which is definitely good for people.

14. You’ll smell nice. (other people may disagree! 😉

15. You’ll not be very afraid of people, since you can easily deal with a 1200lb animal with a lot more muscle than any person. 

16. You’ll learn a lot of first aid and vet skills just from experience. 

Crop Specific:

17. You can wear Case/IH or John Deere hats and have firsthand experience knowing exactly why they’re so great.

18. You get a lot of land to snowmobile on, make snow castles on, snowshoe on, shoot on, or whatever else you can only do with a lot of space. 

19. Winters off!

20. Fresh corn… Mmmm… 

What’s your favorite color tractor?

Nature Knows Best: Why Raw Milk should be Legalized

Nature Knows Best: Why Raw Milk should be Legalized

By Azure James

The debate about raw milk versus pasteurized milk has been raging ever since 1934, when Canada banned the sale of raw milk. [2] Raw milk can be sold in 29 of the 50 states, Germany, England, and other countries. [4] The Royal Family in England is famously known for consuming raw milk as well. [8] Unpasteurized milk from grass-fed cows should be legal in Canada.

Opponents’ biggest argument is that raw milk can be contaminated with E. coli. Yet, a huge variety of foods, such as eggs, meat, and peanut butter can also cause food poisoning. We do not ban meat, vegetables or other foods because, in rare instances, they may have E. coli. We do not ban cigarettes and alcohol although they kill thousands of people and ruin millions of lives each year.  Why should raw milk be an exception?

The Centre for Disease Control admits no-one has died from drinking raw milk in twelve years, although many people get it from the black market and legally through cow-shares. [5] 40% of Canadians will get food poisoning this year, which will cost the medical industry $1.3 billion. [6] I interviewed a man named Robert Griffin, who used to work on a farm. “Raw milk is safer than meat and poultry if it’s made in sanitary facilities. Banning raw milk just doesn’t make sense,” he said when asked about the danger of contamination.  

Most non-organic milk is made from animals fed grain. Grass-fed, free roaming cows produce better milk. It is also healthier for human consumption. [8] Ruminants such as horses and cattle have a natural diet of only grass. Deviating from that diet too much is bound to cause problems. Pasteurized milk has less vitamins and enzymes. It destroys vitamin A, 38% of vitamin B complex, and lactase, among other things. [7]

An estimated 65% of adults are lactose intolerant to some extent. [1] Raw milk contains an enzyme called lactase that helps your body break down and absorb the lactose. When milk is pasteurized and homogenized, though, lactase is just one of many enzymes that are killed off in the process.[7]

Personally, I have consumed raw milk with no harmful consequences, even though I am lactose-intolerant. It was creamier and settled better in the stomach when compared to commercial milk.

Buying locally, right from the source is good way to help your town and the economy. Two farmers, Schmidt and McAfee, say that demand for raw milk is so strong that they can’t even make cheese because so many  people want what Schmidt says is “milk the way it comes from the cow.” [3]

We are fortunate that people are going back to tried-and-true values. The muscles of the men who built this country were strengthened with raw milk from their cattle.  Not taking action on the ban is like throwing a part of our heritage in the garbage. Luckily for us, there are petitions going around online for remedying the situation and restoring food freedom to Canada.  



1. “Lactose Intolerance by Ethnicity and Region” http://milk.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=000661 2013.

2. “Milk Given the Raw Deal” January, http://www.cbc.ca/news/story/2009/01/27/f-health-raw-milk.html 2010.

3. “Hunger Strike to Go ‘Until Death’ Says Raw-Milk Farmer” http://www.foodsafetynews.com/2011/10/hunger-strike-could-go-until-death-says-canadian-raw-milk-farmer/#.UQmBC3dyAgQ 2012.

4. “Raw Milk” http://www.bccdc.ca/foodhealth/dairy/Raw+Milk.htm 2012.

5. “CDC Admits No-one has Died from Drinking Raw Milk in the Last Eleven Years”

http://healthimpactnews.com/2011/cdc-admits-no-one-has-died-from-drinking-raw-milk-in-last-11-years/ 2013.

6. “More Canadians suffer food poisoning”

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/national/story.html?id=ee66451e-aa59-4bf1-90d7-7ecd7985f582 2008.

7. “Pasteurization destroys Vitamin A” http://chestofbooks.com/health/natural-cure/The-Hygienic-System-Orthotrophy/Pasteurization-Destroys-Vitamin-A.html#.UQmEyndyAgQ 2009.

8. “The Health Benefits Of Raw Milk From Grass-Fed Animals”  http://www.realmilk.com/health/health-benefits-of-raw-milk-from-grass-fed-animals/ 2009.

S.R news issue 15

“YOUR COMPREHENSIVE SOURCE OF NEWS IN THE SOUTH REPUBLIC AREA” ISSUE 15, APRIL 6, 2012                                                                            Index: 1-2International  3 South Republic  4 Business  5-7 Ads 8 Obituaries  9-10 Letters and map


International Section


Costing an astounding $4540, Joe’s palace is a sight to behold. It is made out of wooden planks, and has six rooms! He says “I had to murder one of my builders because he was conspiring against me diabolically! But the other ones were good so I let them live.” Two guards armed with knives are constantly on watch for all the people that want to murder Joe. Not surprisingly, another two citizens moved out of Joe’s Fun Club last week, bringing the total population down to 21.

South Republic Section


Another game of Murderball was played at the South Republic jail. The South Republic team, the Manglers, was beaten by Groinland’s Hurters. Although the game was close to a tie for the first half, one of the Manglers yelled an insult to the Hurters and the Hurters started to play more roughly. That led them to get more point from their Hitter, and narrowly beat the Manglers. There was one fatality and four injuries, three of which are serious. Most importantly, one of the Mangler’s star players (Jeff Smasher) was almost killed. He will be in the hospital for at least a few weeks while the Manglers get a replacement.

Final: 16 Hurters / 12 Manglers


The gunsmith of the South Republic found his apprentice asleep at work, and decided to replace him with someone else. His friends have complained, saying he should have given the apprentice another chance, but the gunsmith did not change his mind.

The new apprentice is rather green, and will take two or three weeks to train, so expect decreased output from the SR Gun Shop.


Internationally, not a whole lot has changed since last week. Joe’s Fun Club has been shrinking for a long time, and now it only has 22 people in it! It will not be a surprise if the country just collapses from its own weight.

Groinland has been doing well, and sales from the GCC (Groinland Cutlery Corp.) have been higher.

The South Republic economy has been revving up more lately. The warmer weather has led to increased tourism, and a better overall mood for buying and selling.

The debt has not been shrinking all though, and I have some bad news in that department. Firstly, as you have read, the SRGS (S.R Gun Shop) will be making fewer firearms, which will lead to a slower economy. They should get rolling again when the apprentice gets trained, though.

I do not honestly expect the economy to recover from buying the calves a few weeks ago until they are sold as meat. When that happens, we may be better off or doing just as well as before the calves were bought. That is a mystery, though.


-TOURISM The tourism industry has been doing extremely well ever since the War of Goddanged ended.                                                                                                                                                           Mean value: $7 Volume: 104

-CATTLE FARMING is very bad for the national debt at the moment, but should eventually reap a profit. (it has doubled the national debt for the moment) Buying: $150 Volume bought: 0                                                                                                                                                             –FIREARMS Since a new apprentice is being trained at the SRGS, only two guns were made last week. Selling: $65 Volume: 2
TOTAL ASSETS SOLD $858 since Feb. 19 -BAUGHT- $1275 since Feb. 19

-National Debt- $2920  (+$417)


WE make the best knifes! It’s true, hands up or hands down! It is! Buy some and use them for whatever you feel like. Do you like to kill bugs? Get a bug murderer knife! Do you like to defend yourself?  Get a self-defense knife! Do you like to be dysfunctional? Get a dysfunctional knife! We have lots of THEM! For all of your needs! All of THEM!


Does the very prospect of self-offense make you excited? Do you want to attack things and people? Then join the Groinish Attacker’s Club! Just don’t tell anyone- it’s a secret! Learn how to use self-offense to your advantage in any situation!


Do you enjoy tasting food? Does your mouth water every time the word “food” or “eat” is mentioned? Do you like cooking and/or baking? You have found the right club! The local Food Taster’s Club has plenty of food-making and food-eating for the rock bottom price of twenty dollars a month. See you there! Let’s eat some yummy, tasty food together! Hopefully, someone in the club knows how to cook!

Someone named Charles Fisher died while hunting.

Letters to the Editor:
“I am so sick of the national debt! It is slowly creeping lower and lower, like a horrible cockroach! Gross! Every time I read this ridiculous paper, I find the debt is BIGGER and BIGGER! Oh God! NO! It’s almost at three thousand dollars! NO!!! I can’t survive it! It’s TOO MUCH!”

-Joel Compton

“Hey, did you ever think of reading a book? It’s a great thing to do. Sometimes, when I read a book, I just feel in the mood to eat it up like a nice little 198-page cherry pie. Yum yums. Then, I wanna wash it like the pie dish, because pie crumbs are dirty. Grossness. My favorite book is probably a cookbook, because cookbooks taste so nice. They taste like food. Some cookbooks taste like the food they’re about, and some don’t. How stupid!”



Link to previous news issue (#14)

Link to next news issue (#16)