the quiet cave (experimental polylingual language)

Back in those days I was zheetin’ in the desert wid me n’ me droogs. It was real hot back in them dyeny.
The entieh weld had bin hit by a sun flayah.
Then visyo started gettin’ real insan. Insand as all heck.
Moy boge!So vi was zheetin’ in dis heah deset just tryin’ not to get smerted or kilt. There was dis malyenky little cave wheh we could git some shad from the old Sol. (the sun)
Well, the Sol was dis real wead oringe all day ee the sky had dis coating of chorny ugly black all o’er herself.
Moskay, it made me a malyenky bit queasy observin’ it.
Things was a little bit cooler because of all dis no it didn’t really help us all too much, in pravda.
So we had at first this vintovka that we would load up wid a couple slugs. Five I think. N’ we would shoot roos or whatever animalia would be zheetin about, out in the back. Vi would pyot ’em all and save some a their measa n’ salt it and brulee it fine.
Apray a while this pyotin’ and walkin’ and sleepin’ about in dis cave was too dam much and vi was real bored and chompin at the bit to do somethin’ else.
But we wasn’t sure how the weld was goin’ or anything because vi wouldn’t just be plompin around this cave for fun, it was seeryis business.
So we left out and walked in a sure direction and apray a good nacht’s journey we ended up where dis little ville was that we’d been to before back when we was malyenky boys.
The Sol was gettin high so we hid in the shad a’ dis wooden buildin’.
And Boge knoweth not but I saw my eld friend Tom walkin’ down the rod and I said hey and he was real scared but seed that it was just us and re-cognized us and all that and he started snakkin at us.
“It’s been a long tom! Where in the weld have you all bin, mine ven?”
“We was zheetin’ in a cave…”
“Sheetin’ in a kev? What?”
“Yep. Measa and sunlicht and hotness. Vi er all sick of it.”
“Well I don’t recco yall stayin’ out on this rod any longer ‘tween the Sol and the freezers and allah dem.”
Tom harrumphed and laffed.
“They’ll rip the om rot off a muzh.”
“Well den.”
Tom stared blank.
“So what should vi do?” I ask.
“Hod,” he said.
“N’ where are these freezahs,” I ask.
“Dey hod in holes,” said Tom. “Look out fer ’em.”
“Thunks,” I says.
“No problem,” said Tom. “See you next tom.”
So vi found dis buildin’ that was uninhabited n’ stayed round there for the day.
Then vi started snakkin with each other and tryin’ to deduce the beste way to get somewhere.
And I was just taenkin’ to myself how it is getting real boring in this weld waitin’ for something to happen and nothin’ going on at all. Except running into Tom.
No anyways we had wek to do.
So vi figured out to go, moskay, to a city where there might be some fodd to eat that’s better than the sach vi were getting so terribly sick of. I reckon I’ve pyoted enough snake and roo meat to last a couple lifetimes.
Well the nearest city was, like, real far away. Vi needed a plan.
“But we only got about seven slugs left for the vintovka,” said Leigh.
“Dam the vintovker!” I yelt.
“Then what’ll we use?” inquired Franz, shakin ‘is head real sad.


Letters From Irina 7

Letters From Irina 7, AI/JSC troubles

Dear Friend:
Please tell me a little bit about the main character where you’re from.
No, I do not remember Man Dimon.
Things have not been going so well…
Cyprus and Malta have hit the brakes because their group factories have been
failing to stimulate the economy. I wouldn’t be surprised if they
fall apart before long.
On August 14 the new cop shot some random guy and threatened the safety of area residents. When fighting broke out, JSC ran away from home and got
a leg injury. He was helped by experienced comrades though.  😦

My work has been going okay.
Sacha is rolling Arcadia cartridges. I am not sure what he plans to do with them.
One of our PPP projects, my main job right now, is pretty crazy:
We study to find used grenades from Soviet times. It removes many inconvenient victims.
We need helpers this time, only two though.
My boss Mr. Dollars reduced my salary. Removing pay is uncomfortable.  😦

Do you remember that AI which escaped and killed some of
my co-workers? Chernenko Yushchenko was thought of as the product design officer
for it, so he may take some of the blame.
We keep a large room full of files of all our unsuccessful projects.
Machine set fire to several of these failure cases. 27 out of 72.
Let’s let the hackers set in motion a plan to remotely disable it!

My poem today is pretty short:

I know that we shall smoke.
I cannot be denied.
This is a demonic realm in which to smoke a pipe.

When inside this bread
i find myself in the soup.

What do you think?
Get back to me whenever you feel like it.
And even if nothing major is new, I am not worried.
I want to change people. You gotta have dreams.
Let’s allocate vessels for drinking!
Love you,

p.s– Here is so intense, incidentally, body massage!


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Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 6

Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 6, Relationship Problems:

Hello dear friend.

For 3 days in row my boyfriend has found money on the street!
10 rubles are laying on the road and cash flow occurs.

You were inquiring about the details of the company I work for.
According to their philosophy, the purpose of their products is to attract attention.
They do lots of other things as well. But in spite of ballet class, we create coverage for all.
9/10 units with no casualties.
The other one… well that’s classified.
Again, Anatoly Glaz created another rogue technology. This program prevents you from making money.
Good thing I haven’t been affected by it yet.
I remember when he said:
“I am pleased to say the quality of these theoretical and logical blanks is supreme.
Analytical percentage crest practices logical framework of the founder of the pit.”
The other co-workers have been doing alright.
Boris, allegedly he’s so stupid he drank more than $50 worth of vodka.
Varis Street said I need more exercise. I just know that doing some sports in two hours is
expressive but not genuinely interesting enough. I feel like a fool anyway.

My poetry sure is getting interesting. Here’s one:

I know how to live and now I’m saved.
I never in my life did not win at life in general.
Balance with balanced and achieve inner harmony.
Meditation yes that is really fighting for beginners
But why not try a good practice?
You do not know the practice described in this book.
Let’s see what happens next.

the beat pots created a full sense of distrust
Iranian woman resigns information
to the terrorist.

today I present to you my mechanics, politicans, yes.
their soft tires.
But then I remembered I am not to be a grandmother.

What do you think?
I knew what I was doing when I first met JSC, at least I thought I did, but
big things are not meant to attract a man with this low a level of income.
You know what I mean?
And it makes me think–
The masculine, is it too much?
Ladies will grow large and lose a little in the belly at least to pick them up.
I was no exception.
But now I am getting sick of JSC.
This ne’er do well, he himself pulled power, and indeed he is
not on the right path. I know that he was destined for failure.
What are the strengths of this man?

But your life is different.
Therefore look to the future. And in your mind, indeed become almost transparent.
Look at this unforgettable trip– may the legacy of this correspondence stay with you forever.
Remember, I love you, and there is nothing you can do about it.


Adventures in Mistranslation: Letters from Irina 5

Adventures in Mistranslation: Letters from Irina 5, Repression

Hello friend. This may be the last time we trade words.

JSC told me that he thinks I want to do more than just communicate with you.
I have a little lacking though.
Yes, I’m a thirty year old; official status.
I should say so.
I will try to speak to the removal of the desire to do.
Regrettably, I haven’t had time to put up the area sign you sent me.
I’ve been quite sad lately.
First I wanted to tell you that another trend plane full of prostitutes landed
slowly today.
And at church, priests swore that time does not stand.
I have been thinking lately: in some countries there is no coast!
Thing are going insane.

This is a good one: a man who is an expert at walking his dogs.
Watch out if you’re an expert at anything because soon they will all be dogs.

I read that the Spetsnaz raided a Chinese compound lately. The entire archive
of the Chinese contained many films and lots of rubles. I have been to China, but I was always there for two days only. Their business spirit is strong. The Chinese stated that I have often said in Kiev that “8 classes of people are good-natured, if not our class.”
They are full of crap. How do they know what happens in Kiev anyways?
On TV, there was a show about someone hiding for a long time with a leg
fracture and a desire to do things.
It was the third real film about such a subject. It was horrible, but I forgive
TV the project and let the box go because I understand a lot of why these things are made.
We are making a movie called The Red Army Is Interesting.
I assume that there is a traitor in it.
We need Lobov in a scene, but why even look for him? Have you seen him?
It has a hockey competition as well. The team will be determined
by the Russian Federation. It is made of office people.

Russia wanted to have more population due to the large growth rate in North
Korea. We can always create thousands. But Russians always blame their homeland for everything until stability arrives.
I have moved again now. We’re not in Hawaii anymore. But we prefer this house to such equally familiar houses in Moscow.
By the way, when I looked out the window at signs for barbecue rubs and Big
Macs, I remembered  that The old Italian project company group honored many comments about food during their business meetings.
Did you ever take on sex then quietly took this D?

When your life is as bad as mine, you begin to live mentally in all the other countries of the world.
Things are going to suck soon. It will not just be bad in my life, it will be
my thoughts too!
Anyways, this is the one thing I’ve learned:
Life is the most terrible thing, whether here or there or whether you give a bingo!

I look at you now. Why do we love what fools have?
Sincerely yours,

p.s: and why would you cry over the author’s handwriting?

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Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 4

Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 4, A Tragedy:

Hello friend.

John, I really think I believe in mysticism and all that jazz. Life is very
Actually why I believe in mysticism is because in the tenth grade I studied
medical statistics. Early in the morning on Friday 13th, I was in a hurry
to a biology class. I was running and stopped to recall something.
Then I looked out the window.
It was like a tank.
There were very few people on the street outside.
Genghis vessel.
They died.
It could not but rejoice at the destruction.
And I stood and waited.

I am sorry to tell you that. It has put a small lock on my life.
Try to understand what I have to say, that is sufficiently precise and
Genghis Khan is not dead. He kills yet.

Sad news, I know.
But I hope you’re enjoying the gigantic bag of choco-pies I sent you!

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Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 3

Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 3,

Hello friend:

I am happy to receive your correspondence. Your name is John, is it not?
Nice to meet you. I received your letter and you seem like a pretty cool person.
I recently resumed my old position at work. This night broadcast evening shift
is spent in such a strange way. Coupe piercing test issues and a more and more
higher and higher result.
It is scary.
Eventually we will figure out how to make a coupe which is not wrecked so easily.
But this is snow. And I think, I now very much hope that the terminal
may be next week. Everything will be ready soon.
But because of the oldest problem, it turned it all wrong… Our first AI that
Anatoly Glaz designed has always had issues, but it’s getting even worse now.
All it had to do was connect the experience of an out and calculate the
percentage of mouton wool, bone etc… on the ground, before it killed three
workers and escaped!
We have not found nor captured it yet.
This process should not be so hard, like applying for a loan!
Workers here would dream of October because it is very much not a burden.
Alas, it is only July.
Also, we designed a machine learning the Russian language. It can remember
things somebody else already tried to say but forgot.

Remember The Community? Their idea was right, something about making money by
selling buttons. It’s very difficult though. Here where I live is the same
failure of traders. I’m not just complaining about The Community because their
trolleybuses do not work. (Such a terrible story you know. A hell of a trolley, my friend.)

You’ve only seen one of my poems before. Here is my newest poem.
I’m sure you’ll like it.

“It is very difficult to be difficult.
Islam is a good weekend.
Cool springs country is behind me.
But it’s intensive work to be still open.
And what is most interesting–
is that I have now a luxury that I cannot afford.”

I am glad that you have no questions now that you know very well what I have to say.

p.s– Add me on COD 5. I will try to go as often as possible and stay alive.

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