“Grocery Stores FEAR Him” is a famous ad in a series of ads that are obviously scams. However, they’re so blatently fake that they have a humor to them. There are other variations on “Grocery Stores FEAR Him”, such as how to get rock hard abs, and “electric companies FEAR him!” with a strange-looking device that is supposed to generate free power.
I’m thinking of writing a parody short story about a mysterious man who is a famous zombie assassin. He kills tons of zombies, but then at the end of the story turns out to be a zombie himself! It would be somewhat of a parody on Twilight and all those other movies where people’s identities are false.
What do y’all think of that idea?
I’ve always wanted a jacket so tough that it basically works like a suit of armor. The closest to this I have ever seen is either my 1970′s heavy wool hunting jacket or a new nylon Carhartt jacket that looks and feels like a piece of luggage. I have decided to make this legendary jacket on my own. This is a part how-to article, and part information on fabrics and clothes in general.
I have already made a vest with similar goals in mind, and it works quite well, but there were several problems with it, including the fabric shrinking when I dyed it so the vest ended up being slightly tight. I also want something with sleeves and maybe a hood for added protection.
It will eventually look something like this, but from a different pattern.
After thinking about it for a while, I decided the best material is cotton duck or canvas. There is no difference between “canvas” and “cotton duck”. Canvas is the slightly more popular term, however.
The problem with normal work clothes canvas is that it lasts about five years but starts wearing out in the edges. This is because it really isn’t that thick.
Canvas or duck is graded by ounces. More ounces equals a heavier, stronger fabric. Two layers of 18-oz canvas will be 36-oz thick. By comparison, Carhartt’s famously durable (and rightly so) jackets are only 12-oz thick. That’s one third the weight. The vest I made before was from 10-oz canvas with two layers, and that is extremely protective, but it still falls 16 ounces short of this new jacket, plus it doesn’t have sleeves! Thorns and other sharp objects cannot penetrate the vest unless they have a lot of force. Needless to say, I am very excited about this jacket, since it will be even better quality than the vest!
I am planning on wearing it going through dangerous parts of the woods, dealing with sharp fences or the metal shop or anything else with sharp edges, farm work, riding, and during any other activity with a good chance of injury through sharp objects or something which requires durable clothing. If I also need protection from falls or blunt trauma, I’ll wear some cushy clothes underneath it for padding.
How To Make:
There’s a pattern for a civil war era jacket laying around. It should work well for this purpose, although a hood will have to be added unless that makes things too complicated. After I sew the regular part of the jacket, I’ll add clear nail polish to a second layer inside the jacket. This layer will be 1 inch smaller in all directions. I will be using buttons for fasteners. To avoid snags, I will either use one or no pockets.
Here is the type of canvas I will employ:
I will be using tea to dye it. I would use butternut dye, but walnuts aren’t in season and they don’t grow around here so I can’t. Tea makes a pleasant yellow/tan color.
Finally, I will be hand sewing with heavy thread or upholstery thread and add box X’s to stress points. Maybe I’ll even use the double-W pattern for stress points that I heard of. I think I’ll use the running stitch with two lines of stitching for non-stressed parts of the jacket.
I’ll keep y’all updated on how it’s going. Thanks for reading!
Time= unknown, possibly 8-12 hours
#1: “Old style” Craftsman overalls (2011)
I’ve worn these for a long time and they are really comfortable. I doubt I own any item of clothing as comfortable as these overalls, actually. They have regular pockets on the bottom and two small pockets in the bib with a pen pocket in between. They are discontinued now and have been replaced by the “new style” Craftsman overalls. My only complaint is that the denim is not very durable and will start to fray slightly after a lot of washings. The hardware is actually brass but coated with gray.
#2: “New Style” Craftsman overalls (2o14)
They changed a bit from the old style. Now, there is a zippered pocket on the bib, with a worse design than Dickie’s zippered pocket because it has less room. Instead of two small pockets on the bib, now there is only one. The hardware is now dark silver and the denim is darker too. I think the new denim is more durable but also less comfortable.
#3: Dickies bib overalls
Dickies makes the least comfortable overalls of the three but they use the most long-wearing denim and have the most protection. Their zippered bib pocket is better than the new Craftsman one’s. Otherwise, the pockets are the same. Dickies uses red and blue in their color scheme, making the overalls have a more urban appearance than the very rural-looking Craftsman bibs. They appear to have changed the pocket, judging from the Amazon link, to the old Craftsman style pocket. I’m not sure, though.
All three pairs are triple-stitched and $30-40, although the old ones would have to be bought used.
I should mention foremost that I am not exactly a “tractor expert”, but I have worked on dairy and horse farms and been to a fair share of tractor shows and tractor/truck pulls.
Massey Ferguson started in 1847 and started making tractors after World War II. Their old tractors have a pretty good reputation.
Rather recently, Massey Ferguson was bought by Agco, who owns other companies as well and also makes Agco-branded tractors, which are orange. Nowadays there are a lot of parts for the newer Massey tractors and they’re interchangeable often with the other Agco brands.
With the big feud between John Deere and Case IH, both brands are constantly getting trashed. I have, however, never heard anyone complain about Massey Fergusons, though. Maybe that means something.
Used Masseys are quite cheap. They have more parts available than obscure brands but are more affordable than John Deeres and have good quality unless they’ve been maintained poorly. (like just about anything)
My farm uses two Massey Fergs, and they used to have an orange Agco. The only reason the Agco didn’t last longer was that it was abused terribly at high speeds on the road and forced to run over a front loader box twice, or something of the like. The current tractors are 120 and 180 HP four-wheelers. My favorite is the 180 HP since it has slightly better controls and shifting, but they are both very nice. They run well and are easy to maintain and fix.
I never used to think it was
possible easy to do. I don’t work out that much, but I do some farm work and lift some 20 lb weights. Either way, I tried breaking in apple in half with my bare hands today, expecting certain failure. For the first ten seconds, I heard some shifty sounds, like a glacier starting to melt. Suddenly a fissure appeared, spreading outwards from the middle of the apple. CRACK!
I felt like Jean Valjean lifting the horse cart off someone at the beginning of Les Mis. You should try it sometime, it’s not that hard and it’s really impressive. All you have to do is stick your thumbs in the bottom of the apple and wedge it apart till it breaks, basically.
This is a horror movie me and my friend filmed in only one hour.
Link to youtube video.
When Mr. Smith has a strange dream before his Dairy Trade Foundation job interview, he is amazed by its ominous significance…
I’m pretty obsessed with workwear, so I looked again at Carhartt’s website and all their colors. My favorite are Carhartt Brown (horse farm brown) and Red. (Alabama) However, if I had a clothing company, I would take a way more honest approach to colors. You would simply buy the color that is most likely to stain and ruin your work clothes. For example, if you dig around in the grass a lot, then you would get Grass colored pants and a Manure colored jacket. (which is the same color as dirt, by chance)
Take a look.
Chalk white: hydrated lime, chalk, any other white powders. Nearly white but slightly tan.
Dust Tan: The same color as the ever-present nuisance barn dust. I’ve seen some stuff that must of had at least an inch of dust on it.
Grass: Explains itself. Anything on your knees or crawling should make this necessary.
Manure brown: mix of horse and cow manure color.
Oil Black: Good for welding, mechanics, anything else mechanical.
To be fair, companies have already used some of these colors. Carhartt uses Oil Black, Manure Brown, and Dust Tan, but they call it Dark Brown, Carhartt Brown, and Weathered. (in order) The main difference is that my method makes it easy to select the clothes you buy based on your job and its particular stains.
Should I add any colors?
-adds chlorine to milk tank to get rid of bacteria.
-part of a milk coop that doesn’t do many quality checks
-sells someone a tractor that he says jsut needs a battery. lol
-feels somewhat guilty about his life
-milking cows, and a black satanic face suddenly appears by the door and stares into his soul with unmoving eyes
-eventually goes back to his house and freaks out
-sees the face again just as he was doubting his sanity
-runs into his bedroom
-changes his ways
-milks cow and sees face, freaks out and finds that it’s a homeless goat. He hugs it and names it Mr. Face.
-happy. Acts better. Neighbors come to see his goat, gives them free stuff, money, etc…
How it’s sorted: I sorted the tractors by their primary color. The bigger or more famous companies are in bold, whereas little-known companies are in a regular font. Both modern and historical companies are included.
Oliver, Fendt, Claas, Waterloo Boy
Case, IH, McCormick, Massey-Ferguson
Allis-Chalmers, CAT, Kubota
Agco, Fiat, Minneapolis Moline
Ferguson, White, Lamborghini, Bobcat
Ford, New Holland