Letters from Irina 8

Letters from Irina 8, The Curse:

Hello guy.

It’s nice you’ve been alone for more than a week.
Because of the recent USD accidents, America thinks the Russians are tinkering with their currency. Funny little story.
I have bad news.
JSC hurt his left knee in a battle with the police and someone gave him a food gift but Jeff, (what an evil person) cast a curse on him!!
Don’t panic if you don’t understand and you think it’s normal that he got this curse for the lower knee. And don’t worry about mistakes when after at least 10 more times reading you understand more.
At least it’s not lung cancer. But this is very important. Write me soon and pray for him to improve very quickly.
 
I guess a few other things are going on as well. Anatoly Glaz is studying a lot and writing a book called “how to get economical cybernetics”. He reads three texts everyday 33-34 times to research for it.
I finally made a statement to Tia, and said “Wow, your car is nice.”
Also, I found a website which give people $4 for free.
Got some strange news from my family. I did not know my sister was going to clubs, but it’s been verified. I do not know. It’s not reason enough to impose a rule, I guess…

Here’s today’s poem:

French philosophers play sports so there is no fear
why not engage in water time?

and why are you trying to pretend that you want
Almost a third of the Internet?

—–
I guess that’s all. I’m worried about JSC though.

I can’t believe you said to me,
“I love her like glue tanachi hang.”
Thank you!
Love you too,
Irina 🙂

 

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Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 6

Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 6, Relationship Problems:

Hello dear friend.

For 3 days in row my boyfriend has found money on the street!
10 rubles are laying on the road and cash flow occurs.

You were inquiring about the details of the company I work for.
According to their philosophy, the purpose of their products is to attract attention.
They do lots of other things as well. But in spite of ballet class, we create coverage for all.
9/10 units with no casualties.
The other one… well that’s classified.
Again, Anatoly Glaz created another rogue technology. This program prevents you from making money.
Good thing I haven’t been affected by it yet.
I remember when he said:
“I am pleased to say the quality of these theoretical and logical blanks is supreme.
Analytical percentage crest practices logical framework of the founder of the pit.”
Intense.
The other co-workers have been doing alright.
Boris, allegedly he’s so stupid he drank more than $50 worth of vodka.
Varis Street said I need more exercise. I just know that doing some sports in two hours is
expressive but not genuinely interesting enough. I feel like a fool anyway.

My poetry sure is getting interesting. Here’s one:

I know how to live and now I’m saved.
I never in my life did not win at life in general.
Balance with balanced and achieve inner harmony.
Meditation yes that is really fighting for beginners
But why not try a good practice?
You do not know the practice described in this book.
Let’s see what happens next.

the beat pots created a full sense of distrust
Iranian woman resigns information
to the terrorist.

today I present to you my mechanics, politicans, yes.
their soft tires.
But then I remembered I am not to be a grandmother.

What do you think?
I knew what I was doing when I first met JSC, at least I thought I did, but
big things are not meant to attract a man with this low a level of income.
You know what I mean?
And it makes me think–
The masculine, is it too much?
Ladies will grow large and lose a little in the belly at least to pick them up.
I was no exception.
But now I am getting sick of JSC.
This ne’er do well, he himself pulled power, and indeed he is
not on the right path. I know that he was destined for failure.
What are the strengths of this man?

But your life is different.
Therefore look to the future. And in your mind, indeed become almost transparent.
Look at this unforgettable trip– may the legacy of this correspondence stay with you forever.
Remember, I love you, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Irina.

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Adventures in Mistranslation: Letters from Irina 5

Adventures in Mistranslation: Letters from Irina 5, Repression

Hello friend. This may be the last time we trade words.

JSC told me that he thinks I want to do more than just communicate with you.
I have a little lacking though.
Yes, I’m a thirty year old; official status.
I should say so.
I will try to speak to the removal of the desire to do.
Regrettably, I haven’t had time to put up the area sign you sent me.
I’ve been quite sad lately.
First I wanted to tell you that another trend plane full of prostitutes landed
slowly today.
And at church, priests swore that time does not stand.
I have been thinking lately: in some countries there is no coast!
Thing are going insane.

This is a good one: a man who is an expert at walking his dogs.
Watch out if you’re an expert at anything because soon they will all be dogs.

I read that the Spetsnaz raided a Chinese compound lately. The entire archive
of the Chinese contained many films and lots of rubles. I have been to China, but I was always there for two days only. Their business spirit is strong. The Chinese stated that I have often said in Kiev that “8 classes of people are good-natured, if not our class.”
They are full of crap. How do they know what happens in Kiev anyways?
On TV, there was a show about someone hiding for a long time with a leg
fracture and a desire to do things.
It was the third real film about such a subject. It was horrible, but I forgive
TV the project and let the box go because I understand a lot of why these things are made.
We are making a movie called The Red Army Is Interesting.
I assume that there is a traitor in it.
We need Lobov in a scene, but why even look for him? Have you seen him?
It has a hockey competition as well. The team will be determined
by the Russian Federation. It is made of office people.

Russia wanted to have more population due to the large growth rate in North
Korea. We can always create thousands. But Russians always blame their homeland for everything until stability arrives.
I have moved again now. We’re not in Hawaii anymore. But we prefer this house to such equally familiar houses in Moscow.
By the way, when I looked out the window at signs for barbecue rubs and Big
Macs, I remembered  that The old Italian project company group honored many comments about food during their business meetings.
Did you ever take on sex then quietly took this D?

When your life is as bad as mine, you begin to live mentally in all the other countries of the world.
Things are going to suck soon. It will not just be bad in my life, it will be
my thoughts too!
Anyways, this is the one thing I’ve learned:
Life is the most terrible thing, whether here or there or whether you give a bingo!

I look at you now. Why do we love what fools have?
Sincerely yours,
Irina

p.s: and why would you cry over the author’s handwriting?

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Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 4

Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 4, A Tragedy:

Hello friend.

John, I really think I believe in mysticism and all that jazz. Life is very
mystical.
Actually why I believe in mysticism is because in the tenth grade I studied
medical statistics. Early in the morning on Friday 13th, I was in a hurry
to a biology class. I was running and stopped to recall something.
Then I looked out the window.
It was like a tank.
There were very few people on the street outside.
Genghis vessel.
They died.
It could not but rejoice at the destruction.
And I stood and waited.

I am sorry to tell you that. It has put a small lock on my life.
Try to understand what I have to say, that is sufficiently precise and
clear:
Genghis Khan is not dead. He kills yet.

Sad news, I know.
But I hope you’re enjoying the gigantic bag of choco-pies I sent you!
Love,
Irina

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Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 3

Mistranslation Adventures: Letters from Irina 3,

Hello friend:

I am happy to receive your correspondence. Your name is John, is it not?
Nice to meet you. I received your letter and you seem like a pretty cool person.
I recently resumed my old position at work. This night broadcast evening shift
is spent in such a strange way. Coupe piercing test issues and a more and more
higher and higher result.
It is scary.
Eventually we will figure out how to make a coupe which is not wrecked so easily.
But this is snow. And I think, I now very much hope that the terminal
may be next week. Everything will be ready soon.
But because of the oldest problem, it turned it all wrong… Our first AI that
Anatoly Glaz designed has always had issues, but it’s getting even worse now.
All it had to do was connect the experience of an out and calculate the
percentage of mouton wool, bone etc… on the ground, before it killed three
workers and escaped!
We have not found nor captured it yet.
This process should not be so hard, like applying for a loan!
Workers here would dream of October because it is very much not a burden.
Alas, it is only July.
Also, we designed a machine learning the Russian language. It can remember
things somebody else already tried to say but forgot.

Remember The Community? Their idea was right, something about making money by
selling buttons. It’s very difficult though. Here where I live is the same
failure of traders. I’m not just complaining about The Community because their
trolleybuses do not work. (Such a terrible story you know. A hell of a trolley, my friend.)

You’ve only seen one of my poems before. Here is my newest poem.
I’m sure you’ll like it.

“It is very difficult to be difficult.
Islam is a good weekend.
Cool springs country is behind me.
But it’s intensive work to be still open.
And what is most interesting–
is that I have now a luxury that I cannot afford.”

I am glad that you have no questions now that you know very well what I have to say.
Love,
Irina

p.s– Add me on COD 5. I will try to go as often as possible and stay alive.

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Mistranslation Adventures: Russian Author

[These book interviews were compiled just as my valentine was received in 2011.
This is a most fascinating interview, but it avoids the most interesting topics.
Expect that the reprinting and the controller will not be changed this time.
Some names will be changed because of Soviet Union censorship. Russian Federation critics fixed a number of substantial errors also. Not included in this collection is the interview with Volkov, because it is a separate unit.
Most people do not know that he was a member of the Old Order and managed to
steal an entire highway back in the 70’s. Thieves had high standards back then!]
START:
A: Good day.
B: Hello. I cannot imagine anyone other than oneself.
A: Interesting. When did you start writing poetry?
B: When I was 18. My first poem was about pancakes sealed inside a literary
cafe. I always thought it would get published.
A: How does the poem go?
B:

Deep in the abyss
of an unknown seclusion in
St. Petersburg Literary Cafe
lay a stack of eight pancakes.
they are sealed inside
a safe
for all eternity,
Only the owner knows the password.

A: Wow, that was exceptional. Mouthwatering. How did you find trying to publish
these poems?
B: It is very hard. Trying to publish in the Soviet Union is difficult because
of the censorship. For example they wished to censor the word ‘pancake’ because pancakes were a brief fad among the bourgeois in the late 1880’s.
A: What other words are often censored?
B: Miami has become a taboo subject in every sense of the word. Among others.
A: Why have the Soviets condemned you?
B: I do not know. Every phenomenon should be explained. I have always agreed
with Bertrand Russell in that regard.
A: I don’t follow.
B: Probably my own understanding doesn’t satisfy your mom. It’s quite simple.
A: Rude! So what do you think of your rival Abisky?
B: Abisky was a seperate, private person. And I have my audience.
A: What happens when you read Abisky’s poems?
B: Immediately there is an awful feeling and it becomes so boring! He is
disgusting.
A: What did you do earlier in life?
B: I grew up in a small town and got a job when I was twelve. Those two years
were the best years of my life. I did a lot of mining and I worked harder than ever in the village. We translated for leisure in the old days.A heck of a way to pass the time. Now I am a professional translator with exceptional skills in language and syntax.
A: How did your poems become so popular?
B: One must say my poems were spread wide and famous before they even appeared.
A: That is attractively exciting… When did you meet your wife?
B: When I was twenty. The deeper she sinks the more he reaches a point.
A: What?
B: Yes, We were forced to take a more extreme position. Because of the Soviets, you know.
A: Interesting. Thank you for your time.